- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Hello children! :D

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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Male: Get in the van.

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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