-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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Soon

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Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!