I have a gun.

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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my dick is 2 inches

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!