- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

What's the difference between a duck? An orange

Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

Yeah... you'll have to do.

knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

I have a gun.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl pulls up sleeve

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book