- Anti-Pickup Line

Hey whigs just thinking, you think these will get approved as "anti-pickuplines?" XD Anyway, relax dog, the car is yours, and yes its a custom engine I trimmed myself, never drove it but its like a fucking hummingbird, just be careful dawg, it drives far faster than the damn spedometer or whatever its called says, so if it says 30 whatevers, you are driving at double (ill fix that for you, was gonna do it anyways but I am at work now) Man, I increased productivity with 33 percent with my speeches and campaigns, if that bonus isnt legal then im quitting AFTER I DECREASE productivity with 120... By quitting... basically. Get a cab dude, dont turn into some spoiled asskissing piece of shit that hangs around for the money (not more than you already do, jk bro) and ill throw in the fucking bill for the cabfare, but you know the trust system whiggs, receipts always. Oh, and yeah anyone asks, you leased it, and just for the Nero says comment, I was watching that shit How I raped your mother with my wife, and I get to give you five slaps! At random times, as hard as I can.. ...You know I got small hands, and your sister knows that small hands just means the paperwork kind, while big other stuff, means fucked since I was nice. Yeah its at the summer vista whatever, playboy mansion my ass... Its actually a bit larger (a lot less uh the area around tho, listen man, im done doing my... well girls, so im gonna get some sleep soon, so if you got more to say, make it fast... Moral: You know I have always been EVERYONES GOD MINION, DARK FALLEN GOD OF CHAOS AND... Sex, money, yeah... REMEMBER: Push the pedal on that Fiat of yours, and you will end up wrecking the car on the paper thin walls on my garage, so watch the speed limit, if you end up killng yourself, Ill never forgive myse... Wait... ILL NEVER FORGIVE YOUR MOTHER AND BANG HER... Because... Ahh... You know, girls wont get off me, now hurry the hell up and just say you are coming over or not, because I need an excuse to get... Wait for it... Wait for it... NOT YOUR SISTER OF ME! But hey, im honest to your sister, this man gots love for all the girls in his life, or he dont deserve them. Answer asap, or im wrecking the car, seriously, answer quick and its yours... On the phone is fine.

Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: sparkly eyes So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... steps to whisper in her ear ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

In a classy bar: KEEP IT CLASSY! Man: Hello there dear... your eyes sparkle like the sun itself... Woman: Oh... thank you random stranger, that is the most beautiful thing someone have ever said to me :D Man: Really? But you are gorgeous (the two proceed to have a long CLASSY conversation and laughing in a classy reserved matter and drinking classy champagne and whatever... and then: Man: Ahahaha yes that is indeed true... By the way... would you mind becoming the single lonely mother of my children? Moral: skipped most of school classes... class ... overrated...

Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

jack sanders

If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

Wanna have sex?

"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

Girl: Hey classy older man, wanna get to know me better? Man: Sigh... sorry lady I am the man that played Gandalf in that... shitty lords of something movie... Girl: so what? Man: Sigh... you know.. Gandalf the white and Gandalf the gay...? Girl: Huh? Man: Ever seen the X-men? Girl: Yeah... Man: ONE WORD: FAGNETO! Girl: uh.. okay.. "leaves". Ian McKellen: Sigh... should have come out of the closet sooner...

-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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