You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

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Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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EVERYONE ELSE

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So when' the baby due?

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!