You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

thumb_up thumb_down +37

did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

sound of zipper

thumb_up thumb_down +28

MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

thumb_up thumb_down -39

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

thumb_up thumb_down +33

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Want to go out? No

thumb_up thumb_down +43

good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -39

So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

thumb_up thumb_down +51

If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!