Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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This is what Nero calls for his "destroyer" not sure if I should consider that flattering, he thinks so anyways, he just wants to say, that why the fuck are people suddenly scared of looooooooooooooooooooooong messages on the interbewbs. "No leave it be, interbewsbs sounds prefect" Nero The Hero "FINAL FRESH" What Nero And Vagina shouts? :)) Something is off here but he has passed out again :)) "God woman, you suck at pop cultural quotes" Nero, the fucklord (omg, he is crazy, gotta love this guy) "thanks" Nero the grateful. "I Ask you if you know who I am by saying "ITS ME MARIO and you still do not know what name is? THe red plumber Nintendo HIS NAME IS MARIO!?" Nero The (fucking annoyed at me) :)) Sorry guys just having fun. "THOU SHALL NEVER APOLOGIzE FOR THE WORD OF NERO" -Nero insists, I mean the LORD OF DARKNESS INSISTS "Can we fucking stop making quotes of me now? All the girls are laughing at me, WHY AM I SO DEFEATED!" Last quote added without his consent

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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Hello children! :D

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!