Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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my dick is 2 inches

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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Lesbihonest

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!