Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Man: Hey... wanna join me at my big mansion and have a friendly discussion? Girl: A mansion eh? Well.. sure! At the mansion: Man: MUAHAHAHAHA! I am gonna r@pe you! Girl: NO PLEASE! I am not drun.. uh not ready yet! 5 minutes later: Woman: OUCH! ouchie! That hurts! Stop it! ITS TOO HARD! Man: HAHA AND TAKE THIS GRAPE! AND THIS GRAPE! Oh... never mind this is one has turned a raisin... AND THIS GRAPE!... so uh... anyway wanna move on to the "lovers room" later? Want some more Champagne by the way? AND THIS GRAPE, AND THIS ONE IS REALLY BIG AND HARD! GET READY! Woman: Yeah sure... sigh... just get done with this weirdness already... damn these eccentric millionaires... OUCH! OOF!

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Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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my dick is 2 inches

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!