Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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I have a gun.

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!