“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

who wants to play EPAR

thumb_up thumb_down +19

GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Man: I can control all women in the world! Guys: WOOOOT YEAH! Me: I can control all men! Guys: Huh?? Man: What the fuck is that good for you like guys or something? Wait hey let go of me! Moral: And off the endless cliff you all go MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Ladies, it seems it is up to us to repopulate this world, not sure if we can make it, but I shall do my best, but since I am just one, you better do all the moving, so I can conserve my energy.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

thumb_up thumb_down +26

If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Gaywatch starts

thumb_up thumb_down -36

He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

thumb_up thumb_down +96

He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +129

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

thumb_up thumb_down -25

He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

thumb_up thumb_down +186

I'd hit that.... with a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

thumb_up thumb_down -130

nice kid... want another?

thumb_up thumb_down +95

Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!