So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

thumb_up thumb_down -36

-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

thumb_up thumb_down -114

"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

thumb_up thumb_down +95

Male: Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

thumb_up thumb_down +156

Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

sex me.

thumb_up thumb_down +105

Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

thumb_up thumb_down +215

Im gonna rape you..

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!