Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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"Next!"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!