Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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-Get in the Van

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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