Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Hey, you want a ride?

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Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!