Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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