Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

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Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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You smell just like my mom...

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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This is what Nero calls for his "destroyer" not sure if I should consider that flattering, he thinks so anyways, he just wants to say, that why the fuck are people suddenly scared of looooooooooooooooooooooong messages on the interbewbs. "No leave it be, interbewsbs sounds prefect" Nero The Hero "FINAL FRESH" What Nero And Vagina shouts? :)) Something is off here but he has passed out again :)) "God woman, you suck at pop cultural quotes" Nero, the fucklord (omg, he is crazy, gotta love this guy) "thanks" Nero the grateful. "I Ask you if you know who I am by saying "ITS ME MARIO and you still do not know what name is? THe red plumber Nintendo HIS NAME IS MARIO!?" Nero The (fucking annoyed at me) :)) Sorry guys just having fun. "THOU SHALL NEVER APOLOGIzE FOR THE WORD OF NERO" -Nero insists, I mean the LORD OF DARKNESS INSISTS "Can we fucking stop making quotes of me now? All the girls are laughing at me, WHY AM I SO DEFEATED!" Last quote added without his consent

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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