Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

-hey, come here a minute.

- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

Hello children! :D

Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

This is what Nero calls for his "destroyer" not sure if I should consider that flattering, he thinks so anyways, he just wants to say, that why the fuck are people suddenly scared of looooooooooooooooooooooong messages on the interbewbs. "No leave it be, interbewsbs sounds prefect" Nero The Hero "FINAL FRESH" What Nero And Vagina shouts? :)) Something is off here but he has passed out again :)) "God woman, you suck at pop cultural quotes" Nero, the fucklord (omg, he is crazy, gotta love this guy) "thanks" Nero the grateful. "I Ask you if you know who I am by saying "ITS ME MARIO and you still do not know what name is? THe red plumber Nintendo HIS NAME IS MARIO!?" Nero The (fucking annoyed at me) :)) Sorry guys just having fun. "THOU SHALL NEVER APOLOGIzE FOR THE WORD OF NERO" -Nero insists, I mean the LORD OF DARKNESS INSISTS "Can we fucking stop making quotes of me now? All the girls are laughing at me, WHY AM I SO DEFEATED!" Last quote added without his consent

Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

your boobs are bigger than my nose

men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!