-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!