Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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I am typing it here for exposure which means I am no sellout because I admitt I sell out, just like I did not crash because I admitt I did. This one is real: Me meeting my childhood friend (a girl, with huge boobs... Which she had reduced because back problems... Fucking reduction pointless invention!) Tina: You where and will always be like a brother to me Nero. Me: Aww... Well... Tina: A fucking sexy brother back then... Well and now! Me: O_O. I am married, so I called my wife and asked if its okay, she said can I join? And well, why do you think I am so wired now... ROUND TWO... F*CK!

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!