- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

Whatever I'll just date myself.

-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: sigh Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book