-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

thumb_up thumb_down -79

*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

thumb_up thumb_down -119

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

I'll punch ya!

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Man: Wanna come home watch my REALLY big stamp collection? ;) ;) Girl: Sure ;) ;) At home: Man: Why are you taking your clothes off? Girl: Uh... nevermind... Moments later: Man: And this one is a rare misprint from 1980, and this one is actually quite common but.., Girl: Sigh... :(

thumb_up thumb_down +42

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

thumb_up thumb_down +38

boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

thumb_up thumb_down -92

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

thumb_up thumb_down -41

male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!