- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: shatters Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. sneeze

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book