Whatever I'll just date myself.

4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

Man: What did you say this horrible machine did look like? Woman: It was terrible it was like a man sized yellow and red robot that shoot lasers! After I refused its offer to come home with him he shoot lasers and destroyed my house... buah ;( ;( Man: That is terrible! Despicable! We have to do something about this! Such a beautiful supermodel should never go trough such a terrible atrocity! Woman: Buah... sigh... sniff... I know... but it was terrible! Man: so so my lady... you can come live with me in my giant mansion and we can have a couple of drinks to calm your nerves and relax... ;) Woman: Thank you Mr.Stark... Man: Oh Just call me Iron Ma... I mean Tony!

Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!