girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

I hate you already.

are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!