Man: Hey babe ;) I may not be the smartest guy around, but look at these muscles! (flexes like crazy). Girl: Sorry, I am blind... Man: Oh... do you hear my sexy raspy voice though? Girl: Sorry I am also deaf... Man: Oh... (leaves) 2 Weeks later: Man: HEY THAT WOMAN TRICKED ME! SHE SAID SHE WAS DEAF BUT WAS CAPABLE OF SPEAKING! DEAF PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK!.... I think...

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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I think I shit myself

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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I'll eat your poop

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!