I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

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At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

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-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

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I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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