Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

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jack sanders

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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