- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

I may have never fcked a 10 before, but I did fck five 2's.

Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book