A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

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Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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