Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

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I've got candy.

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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Girl: Hey classy older man, wanna get to know me better? Man: Sigh... sorry lady I am the man that played Gandalf in that... shitty lords of something movie... Girl: so what? Man: Sigh... you know.. Gandalf the white and Gandalf the gay...? Girl: Huh? Man: Ever seen the X-men? Girl: Yeah... Man: ONE WORD: FAGNETO! Girl: uh.. okay.. "leaves". Ian McKellen: Sigh... should have come out of the closet sooner...

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!