- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Happy BirthdaySean!

- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

I just killed my wife. What should I do?

You smell just like my mom...

Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... yawn Zzzzzzzmooth...

What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book