men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!