Shorts and pants compilation: Hey you a cheap prostitute or just out of my league? Hey mom I just watched some more hentai today and wonder if you would... Why are you screaming? Its just me naked with a boner! According to hentai its completely natural! I mean I am getting to do you when I turn eighteen right? No? You are a horrible mother! I am so telling dad you wont give it up! Bitch, you like men that beat you up while fucking you? You do? Oh, my! This is like too freaky too me! *runs out girlie screaming* Dad, I watched some other hentai today and, I wonder if you... Moral: *Pants*, there you go.

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

I am typing it here for exposure which means I am no sellout because I admitt I sell out, just like I did not crash because I admitt I did. This one is real: Me meeting my childhood friend (a girl, with huge boobs... Which she had reduced because back problems... Fucking reduction pointless invention!) Tina: You where and will always be like a brother to me Nero. Me: Aww... Well... Tina: A fucking sexy brother back then... Well and now! Me: O_O. I am married, so I called my wife and asked if its okay, she said can I join? And well, why do you think I am so wired now... ROUND TWO... F*CK!

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

You allergic to semen?

Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

Want to go out? No

-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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