- Anti-Pickup Line

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

Moral man enters a bar and spots a sad girl. MMan: Why so sad? Lady: My father died... MMan: And you want him to see you sad, from wherever he may be? Lady: No but how am I supposed to be happy about it? MMan: Remember the happy days you spent, because they are many more than the days you will see his gravestone, and if nothing else, we can always keep those alive within our heart happily, as long as we are happy in OUR heart... Moral: I would have called this meaningless bull before, but this is a true story, and those words are the reason I just celebrated my two year anniversary with my girlfriend, the most amazing girl ever... which just sang out of joy btw... I may be different... but if a man can keep those he loves happy, he is indeed a true man... Ok now she wants to know what I am typing, so I say nothing and put this self brag away, because I share with you, but heck, what am I? Somekind of romantic? Answer: Meh, I am the ever lovable jerk you may not like, but cant stop loving once you know me either... The anti-part? Dunno, dont care :D

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

So I caught my sister masturbating the other day, it was like lol hahaha you filthy bitch! Then she was like DONT TELL ANYBODY PLEASE I WILL BUY YOU THOSE BOXING GLOVES YOU WANTED SO MUCH! PLEASE! And I was like, NUHUUUH! The bed is full of piss and I totally got this on my cellphone, so you gonna pull up your panti... Oh you still looking for them LOL! Yeah, that was the subject I brought up at a bar... Sober, unless Redbull counts as drunk... Anti Pickupline as FUCK! Players Dont Use RedBull -Richard Nixon or whatever.

- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

Girl: I like a romantic man. Man: oh yes? Girl: Yeah he would have to sing to me... Man: Ehem... cough... okay here goes:Madness? Madness! Madness? Madness! Girl: What? Man: THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A A-A-A-A-A! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A.... Girl: EEEK MY EARS! runs away Man: Wait where are you going I am not even finished singing my youtube sparta mix!! Moral: When its hot, they pinch back, wheeze

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! Woman laughs Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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