Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

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Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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nice kid... want another?

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!