Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!