Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

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Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!