How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

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You look exactly like my sister.

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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are you on fire?

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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