Still a better love story than Twilight

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Lol, lucky you that this piece of shit site worked so fast for you huh DAD? Fine, I need no essay on her ass, my firm (well where I work at the top of the foodchain lets be modest here) sponsors all Samsung phones, so seriously ill get you the most expensive one I can find (its free, ill just tell them I need an extra one for, calling, but just for you, if you tell anybody else, ill just slash your tires. Man, I hate HATE sounding nice because I am not, but you can have that damn Fiat something (black car) that I bought from my ex, you take that instead? You still owe me the cash, but the car is yours (I never use it, and its you know... Bad, but still ten thousand times better than your car. Moral: Me? I just cant bother using my wives phone in order to call myself and find my own damn phone, so if you read this, you are golden. Oh, and if you want that piece of shit car of yours (cant even tell the brand can you? Seriously tell me) then you can have the damn money, but no paintjob, that car is, and must look like the trash it is. AMEN? Jk, Fuck Amen. Finally, so you want one with Keyboard attachment or one with keyboard embedded into the screen? The ones with the keyboards are usually a bit more pricey, but man, some of them suck ass, still I can get you like the one I got for business (yeah we gotta use fucking Samsung phones it pays well though) And forget your damn car tires, XD Im laughing here, some could steal those dirty flat pieces of shit, and you would be driving without noticing shit my whigga XD.

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Have you met Ted?

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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EVERYONE ELSE

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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