Hello children! :D

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girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

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Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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Man: I can control all women in the world! Guys: WOOOOT YEAH! Me: I can control all men! Guys: Huh?? Man: What the fuck is that good for you like guys or something? Wait hey let go of me! Moral: And off the endless cliff you all go MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Ladies, it seems it is up to us to repopulate this world, not sure if we can make it, but I shall do my best, but since I am just one, you better do all the moving, so I can conserve my energy.

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!