who wants to play EPAR

thumb_up thumb_down +12

—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

thumb_up thumb_down +65

-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

thumb_up thumb_down +118

4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -230

I heard this one in real life in Spain, pretty good one: Man: Please marry me! I am nothing without you! Woman: If you are worth nothing then why should I want you? Man: Uh... Moral: Its a great honor having a dedicated group of followers making sure my comments always have red thumbs, thanks to this my sociology studies are complete. My thanks to every azzhole out there.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +128

If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

thumb_up thumb_down -67

He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

thumb_up thumb_down +85

Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Are you from Wales, because...well...

thumb_up thumb_down -44

-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -119

Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!