Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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"You'll do."

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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A man is pulled over by a police officer and a conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Steven. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Steven, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Steven, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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