- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

So, you're a girl, huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

thumb_up thumb_down -14

-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I'm desperate, you'll do.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

so... you're a girl,huh?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

thumb_up thumb_down +163

Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

thumb_up thumb_down +9

You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down +80

I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

thumb_up thumb_down +242

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

I'm your Edward and your my Bella

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!