Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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Are you a dementor? Cause you take my breath away.

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!