guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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whats up ho

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

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Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

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haha

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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nice kid... want another?

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

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I have a gun.

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Woman: Hey hot stuff! Are you new around he... Man: Eh, I am not comfortable with women hitting on me, even hot ones like you, its just uh... awkward and... Woman: uh sorry, its not like I was hitting on you nor anything ;), Why dont you hit on me? Man: Uh... I err.. how you... uh... *the guy proceeds to stare at the floor for the next five minutes then runs out crying* Moral: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!