He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

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Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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Big Black Guy: Yo, whats your name there sexy? My name is Tyrone Bigs Dicks, but my NBA teammates call me Mr.BigDingDong, I play for the HUGE Chicago BIGC0cks if I seem familiar to you ;),... Woman: Wow, awesome ;) and why do they call you that? Big Black Guy:Sigh... I was afraid you would ask... I actually got no idea... But I do not think there are any Big HUGE hard facts... Woman: :/ Big Black Guy: Where you going? Hey! Moral: Lol cannot stop laughing myself! "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WE PRESENT TO YOU THE HUGE CHICAGO BIGC0CKS!

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!