Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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Man: What did you say this horrible machine did look like? Woman: It was terrible it was like a man sized yellow and red robot that shoot lasers! After I refused its offer to come home with him he shoot lasers and destroyed my house... buah ;( ;( Man: That is terrible! Despicable! We have to do something about this! Such a beautiful supermodel should never go trough such a terrible atrocity! Woman: Buah... sigh... sniff... I know... but it was terrible! Man: so so my lady... you can come live with me in my giant mansion and we can have a couple of drinks to calm your nerves and relax... ;) Woman: Thank you Mr.Stark... Man: Oh Just call me Iron Ma... I mean Tony!

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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imgonna r@pe you

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!