- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

I've got candy.

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is zip FEMALE: gurgle gurgle scream

- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book