You smell just like my mom...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

thumb_up thumb_down -40

MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

thumb_up thumb_down -16

girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

thumb_up thumb_down +13

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

thumb_up thumb_down +109

Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +120

He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

thumb_up thumb_down +185

Soon

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

thumb_up thumb_down +71

I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

thumb_up thumb_down -6

At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

thumb_up thumb_down +100

I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

thumb_up thumb_down -26

"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

thumb_up thumb_down +94

guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

thumb_up thumb_down -50

A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

thumb_up thumb_down +115

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +122

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!