- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

sound of zipper

http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

EVERYONE ELSE

Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

Real life anti Joke mambo number five: Me: Hey wanna do it? Girl: I am a nun now remember? Me: Yeah but I always wanted to do it with a nun ;). Moral: She forgave me, nine years later :P

Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

Hey girl! Faggot.

guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

I have a gun.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book