Penis. I got it

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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At a bar. M: I so wanna sex you! W: What? :) M: What part of sex did you not get? VAGINA! W: You have problems with your heart? (angina) :( M: Stop screwing with me bitch! W: I dont have no itch... :/ *The man gets insulted and leaves* Woman: Cute guy, I wish I wasn't nearly deaf though... Moral "patience is a virtue?" Hell no! The guy got laid with 6 women that day so the moral is "The more people listen to what you have to say, the more you will get laid this day, and a deaf woman is a challenge if she aint your way"

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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Me noob days the triology... Or something like that. Girl: So you looking for company or sex or something? Me: Something like that. Girl: Cool because you see my friend over there, he is gay too and...*breaking bad Doc tells Walter he has cancer sound* Last time I painted my nails black just because IT LOOKED FUCKING AWESOME OKAY!

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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Are your prices by the hour

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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