Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

thumb_up thumb_down -53

What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

thumb_up thumb_down +32

-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

thumb_up thumb_down +112

male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

thumb_up thumb_down -76

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

thumb_up thumb_down -86

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +53

guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

thumb_up thumb_down +43

your boobs are bigger than my nose

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -115

I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

thumb_up thumb_down +40

-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!