-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!