Hey, you want a ride?

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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You allergic to semen?

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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adam burdass

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!