Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Are you from Wales, because...well...

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

thumb_up thumb_down +29

-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

thumb_up thumb_down -23

If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

thumb_up thumb_down -51

-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

thumb_up thumb_down -57

How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

thumb_up thumb_down +132

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

thumb_up thumb_down -32

HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

thumb_up thumb_down -116

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!