Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

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This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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You allergic to semen?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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