-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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adam burdass

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You smell just like my mom...

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!