Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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To my story below, I now remember why she never took me seriously... While I was staring at her erect nipples she asked me if I was gay, I replied "uhuh", to everything as I was too busy looking at what I could have grabbed that day... Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Today she looks uh... less appealing in more ways than one.... but lets not go into details, I need to get something out here... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! In 40 years at my deathbed: The only thing I regret is... is... DAMN! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!