If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!