—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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You smell just like my mom...

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!