I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!