- Anti-Pickup Line

i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

For you thinking what is that shit below this comment? Go fuck yourself, for those that wonder why I typed that excellence, well read whatever... So why am I here once a year and type a lot of insanity here? Because I am quitting smoking... AGAIN. So after banging two chicks (one my wife STEAKSAUCE!) I just want a smoke right? RIGHT? To chill the adrenaline... My wife does not smoke (well if you can smoke cock then she is still the best smoker in town) Seriously, Tina has Prince... That explains her breath ugh... I am gonna get one anyways for great justice.

Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: sparkly eyes So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... steps to whisper in her ear ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

Now this one is for the ladies: Girl: Hey there Alexa! Long time no see! Woman: Indeed dear, so... do you still do YOGA!? Girl: Nah I stopped after the YOGA FIRE! lessons and the YOGA TELEPORT! Lessons where too expensive... Woman: too bad! Can you still bend your legs behind your back though? ;) It looked so sexy... Girl: Oh well, as long as you can still do you YOGA STRETCH tongue you can come home with me and teach me a thing or two since I am just 19 and you are a 35 year old couger... if you know what I mean ;) Woman: Sure! I can teach you a lot of lusty immoral things ;). Conclusion: Girl: Not there... its hurts. Woman: Just relax girl, and it will work... Girl: YES OH YES!!! Moral: To show that my stories also support the ladies ;) Hey... its called the ANTIPICKUPLINE after all right?

Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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